A lone wolf

You can thank the hormones for this post.

Let me preface this by saying that I have the most loving, supportive husband I could ever have hoped for.  Long, drawn out, mushy posts about spouses are not normally my thing.  I love reading the occasional blogs dedicated to husbands/dads for father's day, birthdays, etc.  I thought about sitting down to post one this father's day, & never got around to doing it...so I'll put a little blurb in here now.  I mean it when I say Daniel is more than I will ever deserve.  He puts up with so much from me.  Best friend, check.  Our friendship far predates our romantic relationship.  He's adorable.  I need laughter in my life to maintain my sanity, & there is definitely no shortage of that when he's around.  He still gives me butterflies (thank goodness, because I always feared those would go away).  They come at different times now...not necessarily with every single text or phone call like it used to be; but every time he walks behind the back of the couch & pats/kisses my head...any time in the middle of the night he unknowingly reaches over & grabs my hand...the ways he finds to show me he's still in to me the way he was in the beginning...  MUSH you see??  I lack words to describe how grateful I am to have him in my life...the depth of feeling I have for him...how much I appreciate everything he does for me & our growing family.  I never want him to doubt that.

WITH ALL OF THAT BEING SAID...

...I can still find something to mope about.  I have never been one to keep many girl friends.  I have grown quite close to some of my co-workers, and I keep in touch with one of my best girl friends from home.  Otherwise, I'm around guys all the time.  Mine & Daniel's friends growing up are our close friends now.  On any given day, at least one of the following people can be found at our house:  Troy, Jordan, Jake, Brett, Ben, Mike, the other Mike, Dave, and the list goes on.  Of those frequent fliers, I enjoy spending time with 2 of their wives Trina (who belongs to Troy), & Jan (who belongs to Brett).  I see them far less than I see any of these dudes.  That's fine.  I'm used to it.  I grew up running around with guys (other than my sisters, they go without saying).  I generally get along better with guys.  Most of the time I'm viewed as one of the guys. 

That is, until I got knocked up.  Now I can't drink, I don't feel like staying up as late, I'm much more money conscious thinking about our FAMILY's needs now, so when I'm given the option of going out or staying home, I normally choose stay home...  All of these things must make me less fun because the invites used to go like this, "hey do you & Jenn want to go out?"  Now they go like this, "hey DANIEL, do you want to come out for some drinks?"  Damaged goods, that's what this makes me feel like.  Poor Daniel doesn't know what to do...he's doing what WE have always done.  He's not preggo...he doesn't have the immediate physical feelings of change that I do.  And because of all the things I wrote about him at the beginning of this blog, the last thing I want is the become a nagging wife who keeps her hubs from having any fun. 

I feel the baby constantly...the most amazing feeling I've ever had.  It scares him/weirds him out, so I don't ask him to feel it anymore.  I'm trying to make a budget for us to live by...he's not ready to talk about it yet because "we still have plenty of time."  I'm trying to figure out a work schedule for next year, do I need to carry benefits, work full time/part time/prn...again, "we have plenty of time."  So I feel like I'm on pregnancy island figuring all this stuff out on my own.  Wah wah...

OK, that's enough complaining.  Ending on a positive note, this is turning out to be the coolest experience I've had in my life.  I love being pregnant...I'm so blessed to be feeling so well which allows me to enjoy all of this.  I love watching Daniel get excited about this baby & how badly he wants it to be a boy.  I'm so very thankful for this life that I have and the people who are in it.

xoxo