so excited!!

What a great weekend! Yesterday we had our last "official" large cookout of the year, although it will not be our last gathering! It was so much fun! The wind died down, we had a great fire, & that combination made it not feel too chilly outside. We fried a turkey, grilled a beer can chicken & a pork tenderloin, had grilled onions, queso & salsa as appetizers, I was full & happy!!

Then I went to church this morning. I think I blogged a while ago about a church I had been going to in Rushville, Plum Creek. I loved that small church, but I was not loving driving every Sunday morning, & I was having a longing to become more active in my church. I couldn't drive to Rushville multiple nights a week to participate in small groups, community service activities, etc., so I started going to church here in Greenfield with our friends Troy & Trina. I've been going to Park Chapel Christian Church now since the beginning of January, & I officially placed membership the weekend before Easter. Something felt different today........

I was excited to go to church this morning. I walked in, greeted by the normal, cheerful "good mornings". It's such a happy environment. I love it! The songs we sang were all of my favorites, & I was moved to tears multiple times. I never expect it; it always catches me off guard: the emotion of a body of people singing, worshiping God. It's amazing.

The sermon focused on Matthew 11:28-30. We talked about the hustle & bustle of everyday life, & how tired & worn down we all get. Our burden isn't always self-inflicted, sometimes we don't deserve the cards we are dealt. We carry this around complaining about being tired. Then someone introduces us to Jesus. & we say that we will fit Him in when we can...when we pray, when we are seeking forgiveness...reluctant to give Him our entire load. We also talked about the Sabbath, & why we were given this day of rest. God provided this day for us to meet our needs. He created a day off for us to rest. (Can someone please remind our jobs of this???) The scripture didn't necessarily speak to something specifically going on in my life right now, as it sometimes does. But I was so excited listening & learning today. This may not make any sense to anyone right now, but I have the excitment of a new Christian today. To me, this is one of the best times of being a Christian...when my faith is strong, & I want to talk to EVERYONE about Jesus. I want to be so much more involved with my church, & again-my job prevents me from doing this 100%. I feel guilty committing to something that I have to turn around & say, "well, every 3rd Sunday you're going to have to find me a sub..."

OK so THEN...I got emotional again during communion. This is pretty typical of me. During this time I try to really focus on the reason we take communion. I try to concentrate on the fact that Jesus died for ME. He gave His life for ME, for YOU....I say it over & over again because it is just so incredible. & then immediately I wanted Daniel there with me. I have no words to convey any of this to him. I want him to feel what I feel. It's like I want to be able to hold his hand & just send all of my excitement to him. It doesn't work that way. I don't feel "qualified" to teach him, because I'm learning SO MUCH myself. Then I look around at the families, the husbands & wives, boyfriends & girlfriends who attend church together, & it makes me a little sad. Not because I'm there alone, I don't mind that at all. I'm sad for Daniel that he's missing out on this. I want him to "get it" like I do right now in this moment.

Anyway...I emailed my preacher this evening to share my excitement with him, & to thank him for his part in that. I also asked for him to point me in the direction of ways I can help with the church, so I can be an active participant in my congregation. I'm looking forward to his reply.

I'm so sorry that this blog is a poorly written rambling session....I couldn't put a filter on it. Thank you for reading, even if it didn't make sense. My heart is just so full right now :)

Love & joy